The number one mom

The number one mum!

No, I'm not sef-proclaiming that I'm the best! It's a caption on a "miniature trophy" the guys gave me.

I was in disbelief. I thought Wyng was pranking me as he handed me the trophy.

  

My immediate response was ,"Is this from the centre?"  as he just got back from the centre.  Wyng said it's from both of them.  

Trading in an iPod

He traded in his iPod for a Samsung S3 without our knowledge and consent. Well, it's not that he always gets our consent before making his decisions. My only surprise was the source of the money needed to top up the price difference between the trade-in value and the 'new' phone. And, of course, it was done with quietly without even him mentioning about it. 

When questioned,  he said he went to Low Yat after school and traded it in. I probed and got to know he paid another RM200 to get a second hand S3.  The reasons he gave for doing this was that he needed a better phone than his old one.

Subsequently, I got to know that he got the extra cash from his Chinese New Year angpow money. With a smart phone, I could only foresee more deliquent behaviour from him.

Delinquent Hoe

Mom is a parasite

It happened last month on the second when Hoe's aunty ie my sister dropped by our house.  My sister's daughter ie my niece works in Singapore and occasionally her mom drops by my house and chats with her on my smart phone.

My niece suggested using Hoe's iPod to chat on Facetime as the reception was clearer.  Despite Hoe's objection, I borrowed his iPod.  After chatting for more than one hour, Hoe asked us to hang up as our chatting had caused the wifi connection to be lagging and disrupting his online games.

Of course, we did not bother much and continued chatting. On and off, he came over to us and urged us to end our call which we of course ignored as we were too engrossed in catching up with each other.

At last after two unsuccessful verbal attempts to stop us, he walked over to my sister and 'snatched' his iPod from her hand. He blurted these at the same time, "You took advantage of me. You used my iPod and talked for so long. You are like a parasite."

Lesson to Mom: When the kid is in a computer game, he will do whatever it takes to get undisrupted access to it.  They will not hesitate to tell anyone, be they his parents or siblings, off just so as he can enjoy his games.  Let's put it this way,  kids are 'blind and deaf' to their real surroundings when it comes to being in a game. So, it's best that Mom stay away from them if she doesn't want to get 'hurt' by them. 

I convinced him not to quit - Part 1

I remember drafting this post from my gmail account and sent it to my blogger account on 11 April this year. And, I was glad I documented my conversation with Hoe. After some editing, I am publishing it now, more than 6 months after it happened.

Another bombshell...he broke the news to me. Still in his school pants, half-naked after coming back from school, he was sitting at the staircase trying to catch a moment with me while I was rushing through my dinner before my tuition class with my students.

"Can you do me a favour?"
This question didn't sound good at all.  At that moment, I knew something must have gone really wrong. 

"Can you write a letter to school saying I want to quit IGCSE?"

"Why!"

"I cannot cope. I don't want to waste your money."

"Paying for education is not a waste of money. And, you don't decide that it's wasting our money. What happened?"

"I just don't want to waste your money."

"What happened? What's wrong!"
It was not a tone of concern. Rather it was an impatient tone, searching the truth.

"I can't cope. There's a lot of homework. This teacher gives a lot of homework."

"Why can't you cope when you hardly do your homework? It's not that you stay up until 11pm or midnight to do your homework. What nonsense is this?"

"She asks us to do a lot of work and I can't cope. She walks in and say things like, I don't know what to give you all. Do this..."

"It's not that you can't cope. You are just plain lazy and you are finding excuse to avoid extra work. So, you 

choose to quit."

"IGCSE is a very important subject. You qualify to take it and not many people can enjoy this privilege.

English is your strong subject and now you want to quit."  

"What else are you left with?  You should quit English Lit or other non-core subjects, not IGCSE. People pay a lot to sit for this exam and you want to quit?"

"I will not let you quit." I was very firm.

"If I have to go and see your teacher and Mr Wong to make sure you attend your class, I will do it."

"What about the first class you joined? The teacher kicked you out of this class. Will she accept you back

into her class?"

"I don't know. If can, I want to go back to Puan N."

"She gives you all less homework?"

"Yes."

"You go and see her. Talk to her nicely and politely whether she can accept you back into her class. Never badmouth your teacher in front of Puan N. Just say you want to go back to her because you can't cope with Puan R. If she refuses, then I will go and see her."

"You have to change your attitude. Youngsters change when they are 16.  You don't seem to change for the 

better. "They mature and know what they want as they reach Form 4. But, you are still the same. You always avoid work."

"Don't regret in future."

It was the usual squabble with him. Each such session with him is never easy. I have to relentlessly emphasize

a point. Repeating my message, again and again. It ended with somehow, an expected silence from him. I will take that as an agreement from him to either talk to Puan N or continue on with his usual class.

When things cooled down, I went to him room and speak to him in a comforting tone. 

"Hard work always pays off." 

Whether he listens and decides to turn over a new leaf is yet to be seen. I was greeted with silence, which can be interpreted as something positive. He was at his desk, taking out a few exercise books, as though ready to complete his backlog (I suppose it's backlog as he never does his work).

All I know is I will continue to be by his side to 'remind' him relentlessly.  

I am glad he can make it home

Not 16 yet, he's going out with his friends to watch a concert at klcc.

Forgetting to give him a curfew time, I took no chance to text him to remind him to be back early. I have to insist that he come back before 12am or he would have to face the music, which I warned him could be disastrous.

He didn't reply me immediately. When he finally did, it was 11+ and he was already in the train. I heaved a sigh of relief.  At least, he could make it back on time.  I don't mind the 'work' to get him to comply, at least this time, it's not so strenous,  mentally for me.  He got back almost on the dot.

I can finally keep his iPod

He finally surrendered his iPod to me.  Breaking his first promise late last year of letting me keep his iPod during the weekdays, this time he had no more excuses.  He was made to agree that his iPod will not be his close companion during the weekdays if he fails to achieve reasonably good result in his first term tests.

As expected, he wasn't able to perform (again, academically) up to expectation.  After a few stern reminders, he had to surrender his gadget to me for safekeeping.  He even bargained that he would be giving it to me on Monday morning when I asked for it on Sunday night.  What difference does it make? Huge difference for him, I suppose.

I hope he will keep his promise and would not 'steal' the gadget from me.  It's now in a secret hiding place, a safe one, I hope.

How to help your kid to earn some pocket money?

Since it's school holidays and they don't go to school, hence no pocket money for them. We can easily give them pocket money to spend but wait a minute.  Why not make them contribute some of their young and abundant energy to some good cause, at least at home?

Make them do your housework for you. During schooldays, with homework and extra-curricular activities, they may not have time to even wash their own dishes, not to mention to help out Mom in other housework. So, assign them housework which they don't normally have the time to do.  Pay them their pocket money right after they complete their task.  This way, they can feel the instant gratification.

I made Hoe cook lunch that day, with my close guidance and supervision. The menu was my steam chicken and potato. Today, he was pretty left on his own to cook fried rice, except for some pointers and reminders.

He was also made to wash my car.  It was done so quickly, so don't expect a clean car such as that washed by the 'professional' car washer.  Another task he helped me was to tidy up and tie the stacks of old books to be given away to the underpriviliged for recycling.

Hoe will never say 'No' as he needs the money to top up his Hotlinks.

I made him cook lunch

I think this is the most productive things he had done throughout the short break from the moment his PMR was over til today.

Trying to make him contributing to something at home and not just sit himself for hours in front of the idiot box and computer, I made him prepare lunch.  It doesn't matter if it's just simple lunch.  He was under my close supervision.  Standing next to him in our kitchen, he was directed step by step patiently how to cook steam chicken with potatoes, my first even menu and the best thing, the kids' favourite. 

Well, to motivate him to do this more willingly, I promised him a reward, a monetary reward. Well, as a student and an owner of a mobile phone, he needs to find a source to get money to top up his communcative device. So, earning a small allowance during the holidays is one of the ways to sustain his 'lifestyle' ie of having the luxury to use a mobile phone.

Dinosaurs Live in Malaysia

A close encounter with 'real' dinosaurs.

They are as good as real. With wagging tail, some are roaring, flying or moving. They are live-sized!

Stegosaurus

Deinonychus

Ankylosaurus

Triceratops

Tyrannasaurus-rex

Pachycephalosaurus

Utahraptor

Sarcosuchus

The names of these dinosaurs are provided by courtesy of Wyng. For those rarer ones, we googled and even referred to his 'Know The World of Dinosaurs' book.

Am I doing too much for my kid?

Tomorrow is the last day of the PMR exam.  After tomorrow, it will be havoc for our home as Hoe will be declared 'free' from the major exam, for at least another year.

Wyng's last day of the final year exam will be on Tuesday. So, which means Tuesday afternoon will spell a topsy turvy home come afternoon when Wyng reaches home from school.  Hoe will be off on Tuesday as he doesn't need to sit for the Chinese Paper.

As of now when I'm blogging this, I've just completed a marathon of downloading and scanning sets of questions for Hoe to do.  It was a last-minute thing to do as I notice Hoe wasn't very strong in this Living Skills paper.  And, I've just discovered (after he told me yesterday) that he does not have any model papers except for the sets of questions from his school.  From what I gather, he doesn't seem to be able to achieve A for each set of papers he completes.

It was only yesterday that he requested me to download answers to a few sets of the other states' previous years' trial sets.  After a few unsuccessful attempts, I gave up.  His teacher gave the students questions without answers! So, instead of continuing the fruitless attempts, I volunteered to download the current year's trial papers of other states for him to do.  All in, I've downloaded questions from five states for him.  Sigh..each set took about half an hour to do, excluding downloading time.

Even Hoe said I'm too enthusiastic and diligent downloading the papers.  I hope Mom is not too overly diligent in this case as Hoe is the one sitting for the exam.  I told him he had deprived me of my weekend relaxing.  "Sorry, sorry.." Hoe kind of murmured apologetically.   " I just want hard work from you, not a sorry." was all I could say.

How to change the administrator's password?

Hoe told me excitedly he has learnt how to change my desktop's log-in password without having to log in.  In disbelief and scepticism, I asked him to show to me right away on the desktop.

Sure enough, he demonstrated to me how he did it before the log-in screen comes.  It was done while the PC was in the booting stage, in the operating system booting.  Not really certain how and where he learnt it although he said he learnt it through one of his IT lessons at school, I cautioned him not to attempt to try this anymore. Even if he has done it, his act will soon be discovered as changing the password means the administrator will notice once she logs in.

Although I didn't react very well to this discovery, this guy has some kind of intelligence if he really wants something.  He can think of ways to get round something.  Sigh...if only he could put this intelligence of his on something more useful. I'm talking about his academics, of course. 

You look gothic!

Just because I put on my eye-liner, nude lipstick and blusher does not make me look gothic! But, that comment came from Hoe when he looked at me wide-eyed for a good few seconds, at least 10, I think.  I wasn't sure whether I should feel flattered or not!

Having a nude face most of the time except for the occasional lipstick during weekend shopping spree for the past few years invited that kind of remark from my observant son.  I wasn't even completely dolled-up.  And when I showed them my recent studio photos where I was all made-up and dressed to the nines, they drew 'yerrr'  (not equivalent to 'Yes', more of 'dislikes') and sarcastic giggles from them.

I just wished they could be fairer to me and give me a sincere compliment.  Those photos were the masterpiece of professional hands and touch-up as well. Can't be that bad, especially when Mom could still make some heads turn, err...maybe a decade ago.  Now? Not sure, daren't find out.

He is awesome

This was posted on 5 June 2009 in my previous blog.  Here is a reposting.


I couldn't believe the effort he is taking to help me promote my venture among his classmates in school. If only he put such effort and talent of his in other areas such as his studies, I think this guy will fly. But, ....

Never have I taught him to use such method to publicise this. He did it when I was not aware of it, using the little home 3-in-1 printer, scanner and photocopier to photocopy his home-made flyers complete with coloured graphics of his favourite anime (which are not related at all to what I'm doing). He was too selective and cautious with the people that he was going to approach. So, I explained to him the law of 'the more you approach, the higher is the success rate'. He seems to understand it. 


As I am writing this now, this is the defiant teen of mine now. Wasn't he angelic? Mothers of teens will understand what I mean. How an angel can turn into someone as 'devilish' as to break all possible rules. Well, maybe some mothers out there are fortunate and are able to have obedient teens, but certainly not me.


For the record, he managed to secure one customer who has been with me for almost 3 years now. 

My teen always gives me surprises

Unfortunately, they are mostly the shocking ugly truths which always never fail to send my blood pressure shooting sky high.


You see, he has been attending Kumon since December last year.  It is his choice to go for this class. Hence, he should be giving all out to make sure he does well, isn't that logical?  Once, I caught him 'breaking' the first rule of the Kumon routine.  He didn't record down the time he took to complete the set he was doing which receive 'hoo-hah' from me. Upon interrogation, all he said was something that didn't make much sense and not even worth my remembering.  


In another instance again about Kumon, he was seen copying answers of the worksheets he was 'doing' from his previous completed worksheets. How 'creative' is this fella in making shortcuts? 

Catching him clicking away his handphone while he was supposed to be revising his work is already quite common scenes nowadays. It ended up with the custody of the phone taken over by me which always got rebutted by him or getting an earful from me.

How about some of his non-academic books under his reference books? Not unusual.  Oh, how I hate to step into his room all because of the fear of discovery of some shocking truths!  Believe me there are worse things that had taken place in that room!

The number one rule about coming back home after school was long broken by him.  He is supposed to come back home straight from school and if he ever needs to stay back at school, he has to call back home. Not only he doesn't do that when he stays back at school at some occasions, he even came back late when he promised earlier to be home for lunch or on time for Kumon class. Again, his replies to my queries show that he didn't bother much to keep his promise ie to come back on time. Further questioning will reveal this difficult teen's indiscipline.  This is the typical Hoe!

" I hung around in school because I want to join my friends..." or "I played basketball ..."
"Why couldn't you come back by the time you promised even if you played basketball?"
"I didn't keep track of the time..."

What do this tell about Hoe? Blatant ignorance to comply to rules! Sigh...

Not only he wasted the lunch cooked for him, he also had to miss the Kumon class as my schedule does not allow me to send the kids for Kumon too late in the evening.  Having to wait for Hoe means Wyng will also miss Kumon, something that I don't want to happen.  Putting all these 'losses' aside, what is disappointing is his failure to see the negative implications of his defiance and laid-back attitude.

"Why? What's wrong?" These words uttered by Hoe each time an 'offcence' is unfolded are enough to drive me up the wall.

Mom's lessons are many to be learnt and I just wish the pain of learning to cope with my teen is lessened.

I can't believe Mom is sewing

It's eye-straining, it's finger-pricking. Something I don't enjoy doing now at my age. I can't even thread the needle as easily as how I used to do it 5 years ago. I'd rather leave this mountaineous task (I mean just the needle threading part, to Hoe).  It's not about saving a few ringgit to get his pants altered just because it's too long.  It's about convenience at the right time.  This is always required urgently on weekends when the next day is a school day. Somehow, holes always must be mended on weekends and not earlier.  So, it leaves Mom with no choice but to fulfill this motherly responsibility. If I have a choice, I'd rather have a heart-to-heart conversation or a revision session with the kids than doing this sewing stuff. It's best left to the expert who can just do this in the blink of an eye, effortlessly.

My kid made a confession

He did it first thing in the morning at the breakfast table before he even sat down.

"Mommy, mommy, you don't be angry."
"What?"
"I created an account last night."  he confessed. Instantly, my mind digested that early news and knew what he meant.
"How did you do it?" I asked curiously.
"When you were downstairs..." he explained.
"You don't be angry. I created an account. I had a nightmare after that. You go and delete it,ah."

As Hoe was late that morning, I didn't have the chance to interrogate him.  He dashed outside as Dad would be impatiently waiting for him to get into the car.

I wasn't mad, no, I was fuming that he 'meddled' with my computer again despite all that had happened, but my anger was just for a moment.  I am actually glad that he confessed his guilt to me.  At least this time, he knew he was wrong to do that unlike previously when he was caught creating an account and yet he did not feel regretful.

So, does this mean that rules for Hoe to have free access to the computer can be relaxed?  Frankly, I don't think so unless he can prove his discipline.

How do you celebrate Mother's Day?

As usual, we have an early celebration as with most of our festive celebrations just to avoid the enthusiastic crowd.  We went out on Saturday night. This time, we tried western food, at Mom's consent, for a change from our frequent eastern savour.

We headed for TGIF, since this restaurant was not so packed then but still there was a short queue outside the restaurant.  We were second in line and only had to wait for a couple of minutes before being seated.

After ordering for each of us, the waiter recommended something that we have never tried before, or rather Mom would never dreamt she would eat this as an appetizer.

Parmesan-Crusted Chicken Quesadillas

As it turned out, the appetizer is good. Hoe had two pieces and after this, we were already almost half full.

Wyng's Kid's meal which came free with an order of a main course

Wyng, being an unadventurous eater, opted for his safe spaghetti. Emmm, it tasted good, though, different from those that we eat at Pizza Hut.

Sizzling chicken and shrimp

When the sizzling chicken and shrimp was served in front of me, the slimy whitish stuff immediately caught Mom's attention. At that instant, I knew I ordered the wrong dish. The cheesy stuff was so pungent. I thought of Hoe who would love this dish. Needless to say, I swapped with his Californian chicken.

Salmon for the healthy eater,Dad

Always the healthiest eater (most of the time, when we eat out), Dad opted for salmon.

Californian barbeque chicken

This chicken eventually landed in front of Mom and not just fed me but also almost all of us. The portion is exceptionally big and all of us could actually savour a sizeable portion of it.

Verdict, a different kind of meal for this family celebration and about RM200 lighter for Dad's pocket.

So, what's Mom complaining about having such sumptous meal for her day?

On Mother's Day itself, which also fell during exam season, Hoe was assured that he would be exempted from doing his weekend house chore of vacuuming and mopping the floor.  The substitute was none other that the 'woman' of the day, talking about Mother's Day.

As I went about taking over the cleaning house chore, I couldn't stop but whining and mumbling about a very unique way of celebrating this auspicious day.  I had to complete more housework than my normal weekend.  After taking care of the floor, ironing comes next.  And also my normal laundry.  By evening, Mom was dead tired.

What a day!

How do your kids use their savings?

This rebellious teen gives me surprises almost every day.

Something wasn't very right when Wyng was in his Qo Qo's room without being chased away by Hoe. This is quite unusual for these two brothers.  Sensing something was cooking, I walked to where Wyng was standing, which was near Hoe's bedside table.  Lo and behold! I saw a a new red box of gadget on the table.  Hoe must be showing off his new stuff to his little brother when I spotted both of them acting suspiciously.

As I opened it, I interrogated Hoe how he got that set of headphones.  Spilling the beans, he told me he bought it with his savings at one of the shops in town near his school.  Apparently, he went to the shop with his friend.  I over-reacted and jumped to the fact that he was having so much of savings to spend on that gadget when he kept asking me to give him money to top-up his prepaid phone.  And, he did it secretly without Mom's knowledge.  His reasoning is that he uses his own savings for the stuff he wants, what's wrong with that?

After a few hours, Mom gained her composure and convinced herself that saving to get something is not really wrong afterall. The question is whether the purchase is something useful or not. Would teens care whether the things they yearn for is useful or not? I doubt so, especially my kid.  As long as his lust is satisfied, he is fine regardless of the means of getting it.  As for doing it behind my back, he knows very well that Mom is not going to succumb to his desire by buying him the headphone, why bother to ask me?

To prevent another 'blood-boiling', take a deep breath first, assess the situation, then decide whether to 'shoot' or not.

Is your kid desperate for computer?

Mine is. After numerous attempts to hack the computer successfully and later being discovered, Mom has learnt her lesson and has ever since been wiser and more vigilant.  Once bitten (definitely more than once) twice shy,  Mom has not forgotten to log off now whenever Hoe is expected to be lurking waiting for any opportunity for Mom's mind to fail or slack.

One evening, Hoe was found busy in the study room, attempting to revive the dinosaur laptop of ours.  This ambitious attempt was aborted  by Mom, of course.  He said if the dinosaur can still work, it will be HIS. Wait a minute. Who has given him the green light to possess the laptop even though its functionality is still uncertain?  He was reprimanded for making that assumption.  What if it works? I do not know how far was his patience taking him to try to boot the laptop. All I know was he didn't manage to go further from there.  The laptop remains on the shelf, collecting dust.

When your kids are growing faster than you think

It is when:

1)He is wearing adult-sized clothes. My kid is wearing pants size 31 at the age 14+ (14 years and 4 months to be exact).  Hoe is not fat but he is just 'thick' and fleshy.  His limbs are heavy with lots of flesh.  The same goes for his slightly bulging tummy which he is trying to keep it flatten.

2)You keep buying shoes for them. Wyng outgrows his shoes much faster than Mom realises.  Kids' size shoes don't fit him anymore. He may probably be able to wear the maximum kids' size for just a few more months.  He is now wearing the smallest adult size I can find in the market.

Hoe doesn't fit his old sneakers and old school shoes anymore.  Mom doesn't realise this until the day when he was having problem choosing an old pair of sneakers for the Qing Ming festival.  None of the old shoes and sneakers fit him except for the pair he currently wears for his sports activities.  So, all those unfit shoes have to be cleared from the shoe rack.

3)  Your kid chooses his own clothes.  Hoe, in his teen, begins to demand for t-shirt of his liking.  He prefers t-shirt with humorous wordings.  Gone were the days when Mom just buys whatever she likes without even checking with Hoe.  Now, Mom has to make sure whatever she shops for her teen kid will be liked by him.  Jerseys, especially those with football club embroidered on them, are his favourite.

4) Your kid would not abide to your authoritarian commands.  Hoe, in his rebellious teen era, never fails to raise questions whenever an instruction or strict command is given. No longer will he do exactly as Mom says.     How I wish he could be more obedient? Sigh...Sad to say,up to this point, Mom has to admit that she has yet to find the best way to handle this defiant child.  I just can't help but sum up that teenage drives me up the wall.

5) Your kid, like most kids of this modern era, loves the loud, rapping music blaring from the radio.  He loves Hitz FM, much to the dislike of Mom who normally tunes in to Light & Easy in the car.  If he has his own choice, he will play all the latest noisy songs.

The lesson is for Mom is to catch up with these growing kids, if not faster than them or else you will be out of their world.  Realising these also mean that age is slowly but certainly creeping closer to us.