How much of computer time is enough for kids?

I have been branded as two extremes 'too strict' and 'too nice'. Accessing the internet once a week is all that I allow H. And this is provided he has completed his homework and housework promptly. The maximum time allowed for him to go online is between two to three hours and this is normally on Saturdays during school days.

Well, this rule is imposed since sometime last year when he is becoming more and more active in Facebook. Initially, he showed resistance to this rule as he will not be able to post or responds to Facebook as frequent as he would like to, as what most of his friends and other teenagers do.

I was labelled 'too strict' as I was supposed to permit him computer time or else he would have no other pastime and he is supposed to be 'grown-up' enough to access the computer apart from his other duties. Questions and remarks such as 'How will he spend his time if not going online?', 'He will retaliate if you don't give him what he wants', 'He will demand for other things such as going out if you don't give him his computer time', 'It's hard to control at this age' were posed to me. Yet, I took no chances and proceeded with this rule. This rule is relaxed when there are public and school holidays.

'Too nice'? I don't agree at all. Once a week is not over-indulgence at all. Afterall, this is a modern era. No one can live without IT now.

My kid did it again!

Just when I thought I had barred all access and he has no chance to gain 'illegal' access without my permission, Hoe hacked my computer and created an account for himself, again! This time he did it in another older PC of ours. He got away for a while with his initial antic, I didn't know how many days of freedom he enjoyed the first time.

I believed I caught him quite early this time as I noticed from his Facebook posting which was a very recent one. It was posted at an unearthly time which aroused my suspicion as to how and where did he get access to internet.

Predictably, I saved my breath this time of reprimanding him. Action definitely IS louder. I hesitated no more and deleted the account, right on the spot.

Lesson to learn from him is he will NEVER give up when it comes opportunity to indulge in his first love.

It's time to wake up

I posted this in my previous 'lost' blog more than 3 years ago, in April 2008.

Wyng is a very light sleeper. As an alert toddler, he would wake up at the slightest sound. This is especially so in the early morning when I am getting ready to send Hoe to school. At times, he can even be awakened by the sound of a switching light button, not to mention slamming of the door.

I practically have to be 'soundless' in order not to wake him. In fact, as he grows up, sometimes he wakes up before his brother does. Most of the time, I'll shoo him back to sleep and he obliged. But, at times, his alertness couldn't bring him back to dreamland.

Now that Wyng is going to school, he'll naturally wakes up on his own when the time comes. On certain days when he didn't wake up on his own, he'll get up almost instantly on the first wake-up call. And, he would even flash you a smile. He'll even speak if you talk to him.

Hoe, on the other hand, would not wake up even when there is a fire. He needs at least 8 to 10 times of jerks, face-slapping or even water spraying at his face before he could slowly and drowsily get up from bed. He would still be in dreamland so don't make any effort to talk to him, not until after he washes his face.

Verdict is Wyng takes after me as I would be awaken by just a jerk (minus the mornings when I just had late nights the nights before). Hoe takes after my other half. An earthquake right in the bedroom would not bother him.

Now, at this present moment while I am blogging, three plus years later, Hoe has not changed. As long as he is in dreamland, it takes tonnes of patience to wake him whether from a nap or from his morning sleep. Old habits die hard, how true!

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

With so much of publicity about the author and her writing, I must get hold of this book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. The author is a Chinese Harvard graduate and is currently lecturing in Yale. So, it's really worth reading to learn from her.

He created a new user account

My new desktop PC's CPU doesn't indicate if the power is still on after some time of inactivity unlike my old one where there will be a light indicator if the desktop is still on. What I have to do each time is to press the ON/OFF button and if the desktop is still on (but on sleep mode), I need not log in again.

Because of this, at times (quite a number of times already) I have left the PC inactive,sometimes overnight, without shutting it down. Now, Hoe has discovered this 'wonderful' feature and he makes full use of this to his advantage, of course! He has secretly created a new user account to access the PC. Yes! the computer is only accessible to Daddy and Mummy WITH password. Each time if he wants to use the PC, I will log on to enable access to it. With the new account that he has created, he can liberally use it until I discover it that day. I was almost in for a shock when I saw an additional account, 'Guest account'. Needless to say, Hoe's 'brilliant' deed popped into my mind.

The consequence? An earful from me and immediate deletion of the account.

Lesson to learn here is I have to be sharper and smarter than my kids.

Why does a kid behave like that?

He has such laid-back attitude. After coming back from school and his shower, he will have his lunch. Predictably, switching on the television is the next thing he will do. He doesn't even touch his schoolbag.
'Exam is just over' was his response when I asked him to revise. Surprisingly, there is no homework too. Was it a lie or an excuse to defer doing his homework? When even television is disallowed, he will hit the sack for his afternoon nap.

The scenario is typical if this guy has no homework (as claimed by him) and will last at least a week or two right after his exam.

How much influence does a mother has on her kid's behaviour or attitude? Hasn't diligence always been inculcated since young? At their teenage now and the most rebellious stage of their life, are parents to be blamed if they fare badly in exam or 'misbehave'?

No DVD for my kids on weekdays

This rule (not new though) came as a 'she can't be serious' to the kids. But, what's the difference between TV and DVD. Well, if they are watching the TV, they have to choose their favourite programmes to watch whereas for DVD, they have free access to the DVDs and they can watch as many times as they want.

Moreover, some of the DVDs are not 'child-friendly' and are not suitable for Wyng's viewing. Of course, it's always the Qo Qo ie Hoe who masterminds the whole thing and turns on the DVD player without Mummy's prior approval.

So, the ultimate thing to do is to ban DVD on weekdays to their annoyance.

Guys, there are discipline and rules at home.

How to make him a great boy?

Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown

I stumble upon this quote and I am thinking that this is what I (and I believe all mothers) am trying very hard to do each day. It is when they are growing that it's much easier to instil positive and moral values in them. But, it is a going to be a long and treacherous journey.

I am struggling with my growing teenage son. After years of drilling, educating and reminding of positive traits, they don't seem to bear any fruits. He gets unpredictably rebellious most of the time initially. Now, he gets outrightly bold.


What's ahead is a great lesson to be learnt on how to handle my teenage son.

Kids' rattling

"Low resistance tyres can reduce usage of fuel".

Wyng apparently learnt this line from a TV commercial. Just to test if he knows what he was talking about, I asked the meaning of what he said. He went on to explain that 'this means you can drive longer, like 5 or 6 times without pumping fuel.

So, the commercial did manage to drive home some messages.

Good job

Just like his growth chart, he is within the top 10 percentile in his school in terms of academic performance this time. He scored an average of 92%, ranking 11th out of 218 students. He has improved by only about 5% in average score but jumped from a position of 67 last year.

For his commendable improvement, Mummy has promised to buy him a Transformer robot which he demanded to have it on the same day he brought home the report book. We finally agreed that he will get it only during the weekend when we take him to the store.

Good feng shui to keep the kitchen clean

I discovered this feng shui tip which I don't think anybody will hesitate to follow.

'Daily sweeping kitchen floor, keeping garbage bins clean and keeping utensils clean everyday brings amazing wealth luck.' No harm trying if this can kill two birds with one stone.

He loves barbequeing

Until the day we had our first barbeque at our home with family member, I never knew W is patient enough to sit at the scorching hot pit to grill yummy food. And, he wasn't stingy at all. He grilled not for himself, he offered to people around him.

He was at the pit long enough to be called a patient boy, unlike Mummy who despises the pit,especially when it comes to satisfying her hunger pangs. His rosy cheeks testified how long he was at the pit and notice he looked rather bored?

He makes me realise something. He is more patient than I think he is.

My kid's a great help

This was posted on 2 August 2009 and I am reposting it due to the loss of the original one.

He's doing much more than just showering Wyng. He's now frequently washing the dishes for me (not that Mom's lazy bones are playing tricks but Mom's sensitive skin can't take it anymore). Well, that's only if he has completed all his homework. Otherwise, I won't forgive myself for being a slaver to force her own son to slog while she folds her arm.

Apart from the dishes which is becoming more of a routine now, other tasks delegated to him apart from washing of his own school shoes, he's now given new tasks such as sweeping the floor, setting the table for meals, supervising his little brother on certain tasks, spring cleaning the house, helping to wash my car (when Mom wants to save a few ringgit) and tidying up his own room. This is not something to shout about for a lot of parents, but for Hoe who is a rather sluggish boy, these are something he should be praised for and rewarded.

When it comes to reward, his star reward system must come in.

Favourite chicken

Seems easy enough to prepare.

Like all nuts, cashew nuts are no exception when it comes as an excellent source of protein and fiber. They are good for the heart as cashew nuts are rich in mono-unsaturated fat as well as a good source of potassium, B vitamins and folate.

Phosphorous, copper, magnesium and selenium are also found in them. Just like peanuts, cashew nuts are usually salted and may contribute to increase blood pressure due to the added sodium. So always buy unsalted plain roasted cashew nuts.

Diced Chicken with Cashew Nuts Recipe

This is a great and healthy Chinese dish and the cashew nuts must only be added at the last stage of cooking to ensure that the nuts stay crunchy. A few quick stirs will do. Before cooking, roast the nuts in the oven to remove excess moisture.

Ingredients:

2 chilies

2 stalks spring onions (scallions)

1/2 green pepper (capsicum)

200 g Chicken breast meat

3 slices ginger

100 g Roasted cashew nuts (unsalted)

Seasoning A

1 tablespoon cornstarch

1 tablespoon dark soy sauce

Seasoning B

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon rice wine

1 teaspoon sugar

Method:

Slice the chilies. Rinse the spring onions (scallions), chop half and cut the other into sections. Slice the green pepper. Rinse and dice the chicken breast meat. Mix with seasoning A and marinate for 10 minutes.

Heat 2 tablespoons oil in a pan and stir-fry the ginger slices, chopped spring onion and chilies. Add the chicken and seasoning B, and cook until half-done. Then add the green pepper and toss well, add the cashew nuts and stir evenly. Serve while hot.

When can these problems cease?

When you get a new car, you may not be free from problems. Because there are manufacturing defects inherent in the car that you may be facing. There will be a period until all these are solved. You take it to be examined where lies the problems, they say 'they don't do inspecting on weekends'. So, another trip is required. When I am finally available to spend half a day at the workshop, Alas! 'We know your problem but there's no stock at the moment'. What else? Another trip later.

When you buy any new electrical appliances, you are also not free from problems. The culprit is defects in the factory. Is QC still practised?

So, one problem after another that we, those working from home, need to cope with, amongst other trillions of minute and major problems. Call them challenges, to be positive.

Only Lady Luck can help us.

Filthy kid

Did he look like he has just come out from a coal mine? Or has just completed his art painting session, with his knees? The answer is none of both.

He had just come back from school. He got filthier by the day. He has loads of reasons when questioned for coming back in such filth.

'We sat on the floor' which means dirty pants.

'Teacher asked us to walk on our knees during PE' which means dirt-stained knees.

He couldn't explain 'black' palms except that he must have crawled on the floor, or worse still, lied on the floor as his t-shirt was not spared from the dirt.

Do you know how stale rice looks like?

Here's the picture of leftover rice left in the rice cooker untouched for 3 days.  This was the deed of a busy work-at-home Mom who are preoccupied with her work that there was something undone in the kitchen.

The smell is that of honeydew. And the sight is that of cottony orangey rice.

Eeee... yucks! my kids scringed as I brought the rice cooker closer to them and when I asked Hoe to snap a picture.

Why do kids like holidays?

I posed this question to Wyng. Here are his answers:

Number 1: Because I don't have to do homework
Number 2: So that I don't get whacked by teacher. Naturally, I questioned how often he get whacked. 'Not always la', was his reply.

Things to do during school holidays

Yeh! It's holiday time! What I would like to do during the holidays? And the holidays is only a week for me as I will still be pre-occupied with my home venture during the first week.

* Go for my long overdue medical check-up. 'The most vulnerable part of a female' is at high risk for me as I've put this off for more than two years, as far as I can remember.
* Go for my hair-cut
* Fix the problem of my car. Even new cars have problems and this is a manufacturing defect, I suppose.
* Clean up the house. Some areas are not so visible to guests in my house and need cleaning or else they will turn to stubborn stain, cleaning while they are still fresh is advisable.
* Baking. I promise Wyng I will bake some cup cakes. I hope H can help me to do the tedious and messy washing after that.

If only I put in more effort

For the first time since he started school, he scored 100% in BM. Generally, it's no big deal that a primary student manages to score full marks in their test. But, for my kids, it is worth 'shouting' about it. Despite compliments from people close to me that my kids are smart, this doesn't show very prominently in their academic results.

He got 76% in BM in the first term. And that was without my 'interference' in his studies. Despite devoting full-time in guiding other children, I neglected my own kid.

So, setting some time for him, I gave him some guidance after the first term. I also gave him a few exercises as well as flash cards. Not to say that I am not giving credit to his tuition teacher who gave students many past year worksheets to do, if only I can spend more time with him, he would definitely be an A-scorer, a strong one.